Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
