we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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