just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize