He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
