There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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