so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
