you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
no, he came in my armpit
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
