Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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