so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
