ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
