he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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