I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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