She said her name was "party"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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