the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
