I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
