the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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