Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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