I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
