Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
