I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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