Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
