we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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