yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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