You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
