if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
