I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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