Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize