i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will pee on everything he values.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
