careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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