Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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