Are we in a gay sports bar?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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