anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize