His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
