She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
