thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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