do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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