And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
