so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
