Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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