i just had sex bonerless
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
