I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
