And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
