Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
