and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Houston, we have a blender
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize