their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I will die if light touches me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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