I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
