I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
