I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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