their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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