I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
is that a dick in a sweater?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
