drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My cat gives me a boner
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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