Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
