if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize