I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
