I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
