Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
