but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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