Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
