she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
