..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
