from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
