I can text with my tongue
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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