maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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