Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
